HOOOOOOOOOOOoooo~! OK! Sano-chan has the body of a real man! It is very nice!

[Hard Gay is sillhouted against a blue sky. In the background, plumes of smoke drift against it and the wind threatens to pull his hat off. He is wearing a steampunk version of his regular outfit. That is to say, the vest is now brown, somewhat puffy and criss crossed with a caging pattern of wires. Ditto the hotpants. Instead of wrestling shoes, he now wears wingtips with spats. Over his crotch is a whirring mechanism of brass gears. His hat is now a flat newboy's cap and rubber goggles cover his eyes.]

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo! [he hip thrusts at the camera] OK! Hard Gay is now apparently a pirate! Ne ne, I wonder what Hard Gay's pirate mission is...Let's find out! [drum roll sounds as the mechanism on his crotch whirls and spits out a piece of old paper with handbill lettering]

OK! Hard Gay is to come for all your booty! Beware helpless zeppelin merchants! Hard Gay will board you! [brass band version of Livin' La Vida Loca plays as Hard Gay rises away, revealing that he is in the gondola of an armored airship. A Tom of Finland drawing is painted on the envelope, in the manner of the pinup art featured on bombers]

[voice]

[Peacock's cry which gradually morphs into a HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!!!]

Hard Gay is enjoying this!

[closeup on a purple Great Dane puppy humping a tree. The camera pans out to show HG, who spins and goes...]

HG: HOOOOOOOoooooo~! The Hard Gay dog training program is a success! OK, wait for Hard Gay!

[he pelvic thrusts]

HG: Good dog, just like Hard gay!

saysaySaySaySAY! Why is there a little girl in my tent? I asked for a man! What is this!?

Sigh. I think she's lost. I guess I have to take care of her.

Well, the gauntlet has been cast, UFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo~! Let it be known that Hard Gay stands FIRM on the side of JUSTICE! Hard Gay will give all his effort, his life, even his virginity to protect the innocent! You will not be able to hide, evildoers!

Hello my friends. It appears that there is a great deal of distress due to the percieved effects of our latest curse. I do hope that everyone keeps a cool head during this latest crisis. Remember, act rationally and there will almost always be a solution to your problems.

I remain
-Razor Ramon H.G.

Neh, neh, it seems we have some children missing! This is no good, fooo! So Hard Gay proposes: We need to organize a search party! Hard Gay's search for a roommate is on temporary hold until this matter is resolved! We must all band together to act as adults in this crisis hooooo!

Ne, ne Razor Ramon Hard Gay has the neccesities of life but it is lonely here living in this spare tent. Hard Gay beginning: Operation Hard Roommate fooooo! Hard Gay needs to know where he can find a roommate with a place larger than his currently tiny quarters. He needs a place where he can put the things he gets from the Leather household accesories tree. If you don't pick the things that grow there, they get lacy and gothloli and that's no good!
Hard Gay's tent is at the outskirts, come talk to him about this matter at any time of day or night hoooooo!

It's kindof strange out here but very interesting. Hard Gay finds himself stranded in a colorful, rainbowy place, Hooo! OK! This is fun but Hard Gay is getting hungry! Where can Hard Gay find food <s>and a mal companion to stave off the loneliness</s>?